Saturday - May 10, 2008
graduation day
I was thinking last night at our Baccalaureate ceremony here at the school. I remember when I got each of my degree's. I felt like I had reached a big milestone in my life. Of course, I had. That's what graduation ceremonies are all about, right?
*****
But I realized something....
*****
All those years that I worked in school..... I didn't follow the exact route that I planned to take. Tell God your plans and all that.... As I've posted before, I am incredibly happy with & at my job. Especially all the teaching that I get to do. I saw most of my students last night... kids I have known for four years (for the most part)... Seeing them happy & celebrating.*****
Anyhow, what I realized last night was that what I wanted was NOT the degrees I was getting... not the "new beginnings" that come from graduation. I *got* all that stuff & I'm not saying that it's not important or that I am disparaging those things. I'm not. But for me, what I realized that what I wanted was to be in the situation I was in last night.... to be at graduation today to watch these kids that I have taught - kids on whose lives I have had an impact (I hope a positive one!). That's what I've wanted really in my job. I'm happy that's what I got. As I was walking and talking with colleagues and students, my mind paused for a second & i experienced I think what Neil Peart was writing about in Time Stand Still. I didn't think of the song until this morning, but I experienced it. It was nice for me.
That's a great feeling. It's wistful - but it's so positive. I guess I'm getting "truly" to that part of my life. I'm proud of who I am - proud of what I have done (personal life aside, mind you) - happy with the state of my own interior (emotionally & spiritually). It's good to stop - freeze this moment a little bit longer. I love these kids here. They are great kids & I'm happy for them. I'm happy for me, too. And that's nice for me.